Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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