The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize