Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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