P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
