Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
