I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
