He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
