I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I will die if light touches me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
