I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
