some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
