you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
