were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It's shark week go big or go home
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
