I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
