She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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