what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
