Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
