Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
