so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
