Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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