oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
