forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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