I wannas sexs uuuuu
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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