theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
two words: eviction party
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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