Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
