Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
