Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
