My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize