She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
well you can't waste a boner
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
