i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize