I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
