the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You can't just leave with hair like that
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
