I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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