You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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