Got a toothbrush?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
