he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
