so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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