Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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