I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
