i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
