i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
