We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
