i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
