I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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