is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
