do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
