so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Randomize
