She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
