so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
