This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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