just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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