I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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