hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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