I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
