I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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