i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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