hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
