Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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