two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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