Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
