why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I want her autograph on my taint
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
