belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
