Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
