I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
